Posts

Sunny london is a rare sight

Image
Happy chinese new year my friends.

-

Been gaining weight steadily over the past week with the hotpots and whatnot. This is truly a first world problem.

So I ran! It's been a while since I've gone without my dose of amazon prime video (how does one do that I hear you ask? technology finds a way), and I've come to realise that it's a massive hindrance to my speed. Forwent that once and I'm finally working up a sweat instead of strolling on the treadmill and calling it a day.

We had to do a fasting lipid profile test the other day for one of the lab session. My results were fairly average, objectively speaking. Yet I'm slightly disturbed by my HDL levels. I guess I do need more nuts in my diet.

-

As I'm writing this, I've already popped a couple of cassava cheese biscuits into my mouth and looking up recipes for it. You know, the ones that look like kueh bangkit? MMM. I forgot how easily they fall apart. Delicious.

Toxic

That's exactly what it is.

Doing things for your own benefit under the pretence of "caring for" me. Buying things that you love as gifts for me (sometimes taking it for yourself afterwards). Commenting on my faults, then model after my behaviour and eventually blame me for it. Being passive and coy in front of others, waiting for things to happen instead of playing your role. Saying maybe when you actually mean no. Telling me "you won't be happy if I said no anyway". Breaking my things, then guilt-trip me for being upset about it. Throwing a tantrum when I don't express gratitude or appreciation for the "things you have done" for my sake. Doing unnecessary things that only create more trouble for me because you don't communicate before taking action. Making mistakes and not acknowledging them. Worrying about me as an object of focus and flaunt to the world how "caring" you are.

I'm sorry. Do you know me at all?

-

Someone once told me to "drop dead and die"

I feel like doing that on bad days. If only it were so easy.

January

Image

Fulfilled is when I no longer have the urge to buy things in exchange for happiness

Hi.

I'm a little upset at how much I've been spending.

Then again, I really shouldn't be too harsh on myself for buying necessities..........


Blogging used to be a massive part of my life.

Huh.

Let that sink in for a bit. (So I gather my thoughts)

Yeah, funny isn't it? How the events of daily life catch up, piling so high that the things at the top fall on your little head when you're halfway up that mountain.

Honestly, I miss the world that treasures a slow read over short clips that takes things out of context. I miss the world that makes time for movies with friends instead of binge-watching streamed ones alone in the darkness of the house. I miss the world that has patience, not a world that is quick to judge. I know I'll find it again someday. Just... perhaps not now.
Women who wear black live colourful lives.
I feel like a fool.

突然累了。

Image
Dear God, I know you'll be there for me through it all even if the world lets me down. When it all ends, I'll be back in your arms. Safe and happy. I love you Lord. 
I don't want to lose my kidneys.

Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.        They may not mean to, but they do.    They fill you with the faults they had     And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn     By fools in old-style hats and coats,    Who half the time were soppy-stern     And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.     It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can,     And don’t have any kids yourself.